Archive for March, 2008

Door of the Month: March Edition

Qi should always collect in front of the door, and then gently float into the property. If your Qi is being dragged away from the door, then nothing is flowing in and everything is flowing out. How does Qi get dragged away from the door, and from the building? By Pulling Nose Water.

The name Pulling Nose Water is derived from the Qi being pulled away from the Main Door, much like a cow is led away by the nose. Whenever there is a long, narrow pathway or corridor in front of a door, the door is regarded as having a Pulling Nose Water problem.

Moo!

pullingnosewater.jpg


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More thoughts on the Year of the Rat 2008

Part Two of my Astrology 2008 video. Enjoy.


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The Rat Strikes Again.

First Edison Chen in Hong Kong.

Now Eliot Spitzer in New York.


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Encounter with the Earth Rat (Part One)

Mr Earth Rat aka Wu Zi 戊 子 is an elusive fellow indeed. Being a nocturnal fellow, with inclinations towards the misty, steamier side of town, it is not easy to find Mr Wu Zi and sit him down for a chat. And even then, Mr Wu Zi has a Yoda-esque way of speaking. Yes, perhaps in his last incarnation, Mr Wu Zi was Yoda (or Yoda was a Wu Zi Day Master). Thus, those in his presence often feel either like they haven’t a clue what he has said, or some deep intensely profound statement has just made its way into the universe, and if you can’t figure it out, then well, you’re not meant to know.

Such is the way of Mr Wu Zi.

Still you can’t help but be drawn to Mr Wu Zi. Despite his cryptic ways, there’s something devilishly charming about Mr Wu Zi – a certain international man of mystery charm about him. Think Casanova, not Austin Powers please.

Like his friend Remy (who finally has to come out of the dark, into the limelight this year, after winning his Oscar for his role in Ratatouille), Mr Wu Zi finds himself at the center of attention this year. After all, it is supposed to be HIS year.

Anyway, after much effort in tracking him down, Mr Wu Zi finally agreed to have a chat with Fengshuilogy on 2008, Feng Shui master predictions and to tell us a little about himself!

Fengshuilogy: So, 2008 is here and it’s your year!

Wu Zi: (yawns) – do excuse my yawning, I’m not really used to being up at this hour of the day.

Fengshuilogy: Not a morning person eh?

Wu Zi: Not really. I’m really more of a night rat, you know what I mean? The moon comes up, and I’m at my most energetic. But during the day, I’m a bit doozy. Like a dormouse.

Fengshuilogy: You know, it was a real pain to find you – I guess you’re not into e mail and that sort of thing.

Wu Zi: Naturally not – I’ve been told I have a certain rogueish charm (and it’s nothing to do with twitching whiskers) and really, if you have it flaunt it you know what I mean? Peach Blossom stars shouldn’t be wasted (wink wink). So I always prefer meeting people in person. And anyway, my enigmatic ways don’t translate so well in writing – besides, being an Earth Rat, you know it takes me a LOOONG time to compose my thoughts. Although you’re not quite right about me not being into e mail. I am fond of technology (check out my new Blackberry) and I love the movies. I’m mighty pleased that one of my ilk has just won a movie for Best Animated Film. Who would have thought a film about a Rat could win an Oscar? Matter a fact, I’m trying to get a hold of Remy’s agent right now. I have a brilliant business proposition for him – you know you have Yan can Cook on television? I bet Rat Can Cook will be a hit with the ladies. Don’t under-estimate us Rat types – we have a way with the ladies…

Image from Slashfilm.com

Fengshuilogy: You’ve been described variously as “more selfish and calculating” and “smart, magnetic, well-liked, affable, quick-witted and protective of the ones you love”. Is this the true you?

Wu Zi: Hmmm, are you sure that was an interview with me? You know, these reporters (and those Astrology people) love to make up stuff about me. I suppose it’s because I’m such an elusive, enigmatic fellow that they have to wing some of it just to keep things interesting eh? I tell you when I visit the corner bookstore, I wonder who is writing some of this tosh about me.

I mean, selfish and calculating – well I won’t deny that about me, but I’m not sure my four other brothers, especially my big brother Jia Zi would agree with that assessment of them. And I have my doubts that my brother Bing Zi thinks that way about himself.

And please, if the intelligence gene was so equally distributed in this world, Einstein would not have said “only two things are infinite—the universe and human stupidity”. All rats are not created equal okay? Admittedly, the element of Water represents intelligence and so arguably, all of us Rats can’t be dimwits. But hey, not all of us can get away with being smart or know how to use our smarts you know…

As for the magnetic, well-liked part, well baby, when you gotta Peach Blossom, you flaunt da Peach Blossom right? It’s not wrong but I don’t think all of us Rats attract people for the same reasons. Take me for example – I’m attractive because basically, I’m enigmatic, elusive and mysterious. Women love a good chase, and they find me rather, ahem, charming. They’re intrigued by what lies beneath (which by the way, I rarely reveal). I’m not sure people think the same way about my brother Jia Zi, who is the least mysterious person around and Mr Call A Spade A Spade.

Do I digress?

Fengshuilogy: No no – let’s get to know the mafia – I mean family. There are 5 of you right? Earth Rat (Wu Zi 戊 子), and then there’s Fire Rat (Bing Zi 丙 子), Metal Rat (Geng Zi 庚 子), Wood Rat (Jia Zi 甲 子 ) and Water Rat (Ren Zi 壬 子 ). The Five Rats.

Wu Zi: Au contraire – not Five Rats. *The Rat Pack*. We’re original Rat Pack you know, my rodent brothers and I. I mean, Sinatra and all those guys, they were nothing like the REAL Rat Pack.

The Rat Pack

Fengshuilogy: Oh, tell tell.

Wu Zi: Hmm, I feel a breeze. The mist is clearing…and so I shall reveal to you a few secrets of the Rat Pack. I’m the middle child, so I have a bit of middle rat syndrome. But who can blame me right? When you’re sandwiched in between Mickey and Emo-Mouse, it kind of warps who you are. But anyway, I’m the kind of Rat that well, is all about the cheese, if you get my drift. And I’m not talking the parmesan kind. I’m a bottom line driven kind of rodent. Now I may be slow with words, but I’m quick with the numbers and you’ll never catch me doing cruddy business deals. I can sniff them out a mile away. Nope. I get in there, get what I want, and get out. You know the term corporate raider? They were probably thinking of ME when they coined it. I sneak in, pillage, steal, swipe and grab what I can, and then before the ship hits the iceberg, I’m outta there.

Fengshuilogy: nice one – wasn’t it YOUR year when the Titanic hit that iceberg?

Wu Zi: Oh yeah yeah – you have been reading that article in The Edge Options! Ah – no wonder you’re asking me all these question. But more on that later….now where was I? Yeah, corporate raiding. I was watching that film ‘Wall Street’ and you know, it kind of reminded me of myself. Maybe they should have named Gordon Gekko’s character Gordon Ratto instead eh? I mean lizards – puleeze. I know they look all nasty and all but really, lizards have about as much charm as dead roadkill. The rat on the other hand…I tell you, we have animal magnetism…even when we’re dirty!

Gordon Gekko

Fengshuilogy: But Gekko was a nasty person.

Wu Zi: Well, we’re Rats! What do you expect? Nice rats finish last – I say. Hey, Mickey is a nice mouse – but who’s the Rat who’s holding the Oscar huh huh? LIFO is for losers – FIFO – that’s my motto. First in, first out. And I don’t share nothing with no one. Deng Xiao Peng said it first “Greed is GLORIOUS!” Ho’s before Bro’s, Me before You, Less Rat, More Cheese you know what I mean?

Fengshuilogy: Gosh, but you’re rather chatty today for someone who’s been describe as yogi-like and yoda-esque.

Wu Zi: You’re catching me on the upswing – the wind is blowing.

Fengshuilogy: Err, right.

Wu Zi: Now, where was I? Oh right…the Rat Pack. So there’s Wood Rat. He likes to think of himself as the top rat. Leader of the five of us. He’s a righteous type. You would never catch him with his nose down some garbage can. Forget it – garbage is not good enough for him. Mr Clean Rat – that’s my brother Wood Rat. Yeah – he smells better than most of us too you know. Always setting a good example, trying to be a good guy. Even when he tries to be bad, he’s being good. I mean, he’s a Rat. But everyone loves him. The loveable rogue – that has to be Jia Zi. Like my pal Remy…or that fella from that TV show ‘House’ – Hugh Laurie.

Yo check-out the family album…

Big Bro

Goody Goody Two Rat

Emo-Mouse

 

 

Lil Bro

Fengshuilogy: So what about Mickey – Mouse we mean.

Wu Zi: Oh him. Yeah, Mr Limelight. Mr-Don’t-Call-Me-Rat-Call-Me-Mouse. You know, he has to be better than all of us rodents because he’s the one who comes out during the day. He’s the one who stands under the lights. Oh yes, Brother Bing Zi.

Fengshuilogy: Ohhh – do we detect some resentment there?

Wu Zi: Please – Mickey, I mean Bing Zi, leads such a boring life. You know what – you can always tell a mile away when Mickey is trying to get up to something. I mean don’t get me wrong – he’s a sweet rodent and all that, but seriously, WOT A LOSER. A rat’s gotta do what a rat’s gotta do.

Poor old Mi..I mean, Bing Zi – puts his hand in the cookie jar and gets caught by the cat right away. I mean when you come out in the daytime, of course you get caught. You know – there are rats, and there are mice. But we’re all RODENTS right? So…this holier than thou thing,I’m a mouse, you’re a rat, with Bing Zi really gets on my tail…I mean nerves. Personally, I think he’s a bit of a failure to the rat species. Life is a rat race and my Fire Rat brother just doesn’t get that. Why can’t we all get along, he asks whenever we have a Rat Pack get together…and that’s when my lil brother Water Rat aka Ren Zi just wants to slap him across the snout and say ‘BECAUSE WE’RE RATS YOU IDIOT’.

Whoa…I’m getting all emotional here…

Fengshuilogy: Yes, which is not like you right?

Wu Zi: Well I get all worked up but then it passes. It’s the Water. But things don’t phase me that much you know. Not like Emo-Mouse.

Fengshuilogy: Ah, yes, your younger brother, Geng Zi.

Wu Zi: Mr Emo-Mouse himself. That rodent has a serious bleeding heart. Gets emotionally worked up about everything. But that doesn’t concern me you know – what concerns me is the laziness. A rat shouldn’t be lazy. A lazy rat is a starving rat.

Fengshuilogy: Tell us about Ren Zi.

Wu Zi: Him – But he is really good with finding the fois gras amongst the garbage. Got a real nose on him there for sniffing out great business deals. I mean, who would have thought fizzy sugar water would be big the way it is today? Now he is an opportunist of the highest order. We don’t see him a lot – he’s usually in some sewer, scavenging around for some worthy scraps. Probably explains why he’s a bit on the tubby side.

Fengshuilogy: Euh – the sewer? How gross.

Wu Zi: Well, he has his way with the ladies too. You know, women are always attracted to him for different reasons – still waters run deep. They peer into his eyes, and see great depths to his personality and they just want to find out more and more about him. And he has a way with words, although I think he tends to reserve them for shareholders meetings. The guy can be a real bore you know – always about the money, always about making money. But anyway, enough about me and my rodent ilk…I think I’ve given too much of the game away…we’ll talk again…next week…gotta go!


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Copyright © 2008 by Joey Yap. All rights reserved worldwide.